Part 45: Chapter 45 (Battle) - This Victory Cost Two Entire Aircraft Carriers

Update 45 (Battle) - This Victory Cost Two Entire Aircraft Carriers

OK, my dude. Let's get this over with. How would you have won that battle MORE efficiently by blowing up one of our ships?

Well, I'm glad you asked! First, we choose our heaviest-hitting dudes. That's these guys.



We're going with Grimm, mostly because it doesn't really matter who we choose for the fight down below, and I like Grimm, fight me.



So, let's begin! (Again.)



Then Grimm would say something like " Look out, Black Hole! I'm gonna crack some heads!"

That does sound like somethin' I'd say!

It may sound like something you'd say, but let's not pretend that was a good impression of you at all, Commander Grimm.



Everything goes the same way as normal, at first - we send some planes up, keep everyone else in a defensive position to wait for that fighter to come along and get murdered by our carriers... the usual.



Our forces down here don't really matter that much, though, so we just arrange them in any old formation that doesn't end with them being murdered.



So, next, we head over here...



...And then we blow up our own aircraft carrier.

OK, NOW you've lost your mind.



Hang on, bear with me--look! We can then release a stealth plane way earlier than we're supposed to!



Wait, what do you mean--oh. No, I get it now.

Oh, I see...

That's... so stupid it loops right back around to being genius.

Oh, wait, I forgot, dialogue. " My dude, I know you're busy being the most brilliant strategist to ever live, but I would love to tutorialise you about aircraft carriers, if you have a second?"

" Sorry, Rachel, I've got lots of being awesome to do with my new stealth fighters. Maybe another time."

I don't sound like that!

I dunno, that impression was pretty spot-on.



And the villains as well, can't forget them. " Ohohoho, those foolish Allied forces don't even know that we have a fucking forcefield! Like lambs to the slaughter, they will perish in the waves of my Black Arc! Aha ha ha ha!"

Are the voices weirding anyone else out? Just me?



Just like how it doesn't matter what our forces do down below, it doesn't really matter what the enemy does. They can't really do anything to counteract our strategy.



Meanwhile, our planes go absolutely apeshit on the second front, attacking cannons. We're still playing defensively on the first turn, and then we'll crush them afterwards.



So, now that our brilliant plan has been unveiled, all we need to do is smash the pipe seam, release the rest of the stealths, and the moment that the Black Arc goes down, we just... win the map instantly.



It'll take two turns for the stealth fighter to break the seam, and another two turns to drop the other stealths and get them out of there; as such, we want the Black Arc gone by day 5 or 6 if we can. To help in that regard, I'm sending the bomber up too.



I picked Grimm because I thought he might be able to destroy the seam in one hit, but... not quite. I wonder if Max down below would have done it? I don't know, stealth planes aren't as strong as bombers anyway so I don't imagine it'd have made much difference.

" These are stealth planes! They are very cool and good, and once you have like six of them, you're basically unstoppable. They can turn invisible and nothing can fire on them."

I still object to the impression, but the info was accurate, I suppose...

" Yo, that's cool! Let me just MAX SMASH this fortress and I'll be down there to try out those planes!"



We still do all the usual stuff, too, capturing buildings and taking out these cruisers. More for something to do, really, though - since we have access to the three stealths on the other side of the map that we're not usually supposed to get this early on, we don't strictly need these ones.

More stealth planes is good, though, so we're having them.



Hurray, we have buildings.



So! Let's make sure Max destroys everything up there by telling him to enter murder mode.



As with the previous time we did this map, the fighter's gonna saunter right into the range of our carriers.



Yeah, like that. You'll also note that the enemy battleship has parked itself right in range of my carriers - that's bad, but again, I don't need all of them so it's not a huge problem.

Do you know how much aircraft carriers cost, my dude?

I dunno. 25,000?

Try 30k.

FUCK ME. Yeah, so this is why we only did this strategy hypothetically...



BOOM! The first cannon goes down - the first of many, hopefully. Once we murder all of the fighter jets.



We take both jets down up north, but down here we weaken both of them, and this last fighter decides to harass one of the black bombs. At least it goes down in one hit.



And our bomber speeds up proceedings by just flat-out one-shotting this cannon. I love bombers so much, you guys, you don't understand.

Well, after three games now, you probably do...



Not much else to do up here, so the forces arrange themselves and prepare to continue the assault next turn.



The threat of the fighters is entirely removed when these two decide to waste their turn joining up. Kind of a dumb decision when you're surrounded by units that can murder you with ease.



Right, back to the action down below.



Our carriers put paid to this fighter as well. Grimm's carriers hit so hard, oh my god.



And we apply a battleship to this cruiser, which it does not enjoy. _{Now I'm just wondering what the hell Grit's carriers would be like... they'd literally outrange the movement range of fighters! Though I guess you could get a stealth fighter in there...}



This cruiser goes away too. Good riddance.



We can blast this seam wide open now, though, so that's a plus. Next turn we can drop off the other two stealths and then really get to work!



I arrange my units in a formation that can lure the copters in, too. Once they're out of the way, I don't really have to worry about anything down here.



Right, so slight tactical error happens about now...



Yeah, there it is. Battleships do a number on carrier, unfortunately, so we do lose this one. As well as the stealth fighter it had.

Wait, we lose another carrier?

Well, obviously if this was an actual battle, that wouldn't have happened. It was Iago anyway, was anyone going to cry about it?

Dry eyes over here. Though Klara would have been an unfortunate loss!



Look, I'm just, like, speeding through a vague idea for how to beat this map more efficiently, I'm not saying it would have turned out exactly like this.



The rest of Koal's units gather themselves like this. The thing that annoys me about black boats, I think, is how much they bulk out the enemies. Look at this - it looks like a threatening wall of enemies, but half of them can't even attack and just take up space. It's clutter, that's what it is.



KABOOM! Another one down!



Blep. That was the enemy fighter, so not as big of an explosion.



KRAKABOOM!

My dude, you don't have to add sound effects. Rose is trying to concentrate on figuring out a strategy for this Fog of War battle, you know.

Oh. Right. Yeah, OK, I suppose I can tone back the explosions a bit.



Imagine a really cool and impressive explosion sound effect for this cannon. That's probably what it sounded like.



The other black bomb goes for our northern fighter squad, though, which is a less fun explosion. Still, they can shrug it off, we still have enough firepower to pretty quickly eliminate this map.



We're almost in position! (Yes, already. Doing the map this way is stupidly fast, and this isn't even the fastest you can do it, I'm pretty sure.)



We do have some vague threats to deal with over this way, so let's deal with those. This bro copter goes first.



Then the last cruiser, to keep our remaining carriers safe...



And we drop off another stealth fighter. It's in range of the battleship, but battleships can't shoot planes, so we're all good.



And we can almost one-shot these bro copters. Man, I forget how strong Grimm is on initiation.



We do still need the slight extra damage to finish it off, though.

Ah well, still a pretty painless battle so far.

Two carriers died for this.

OK, a relatively painful battle. Especially for Rachel's bank account.

If you ever try this kind of strategy in an actual battle, I'm deducting all the losses out of your pay!



Anyhow, with the way open, we drop off the other two stealth fighters. Now we just need the Black Arc to go down and we've basically won.



Jugger... isn't going to do much stuff.

" Running asskick.exe. Disrespect systems fully loaded."

That is the kind of thing that strange CO comes out with.

See, I know exactly how he talks because everything he says is hilarious.



This might look like stuff, but don't be fooled.



Just like last time, he has nothing in range of my units to attack me, so it's a total waste of his SCOP.



So let's just get on with the cannon destroying.



And with this, just one left! Go for it, planes!



...Eh, almost. This is what I mean by doing the map even more quickly - I think if I'd sent the planes up in a different configuration, or if the AI had used them more effectively, I could've won the second front today instead of tomorrow.



Ah well, let's cause carnage whilst we can.



First, we move our stealth planes into position. They're gonna be handling the minicannons, and they can do so pretty easily thanks to our free Tag power next turn.



Let's just skip through this. Jugger doesn't do anything useful or threatening.



This, however, is both! Useful for us and threatening for the enemy, anyway.

" Black Arc status: fucking exploded. Fortress barrier has gone down faster than the internet in a thunderstorm."

Wait, let me! A-hem... " Hah! These simple-minded fools have only walked right into my trap. This fortress may be vulnerable now, but I am not, and they'll never defeat me! Not even that pretty one who runs the whole show."

Didn't Koal explicitly say your face was ugly once?

Shut it! He was just... too far away to see me properly!

You forgot the "Aha ha ha", too.



So, hey, we have a Tag power and two of the strongest offensive COs ready for action.



Yeah, this is going to be a bloodbath.



And then Grimm would yell " What a pencil neck!" or something.



Since we have two turns, unlike last time where I just, like, blew up the minicannons, I figured I'd spend the first turn bullying Koal's army, and then blow up the minicannons on Max's turn.



Here's a prime bullying target, this transport copter! And hahahahholy shit, that's so much damage

I think that's the most we've seen in AWDS so far - though I believe we broke 200% in AW1 with Max, correct me if I'm wrong.

" COMMANDER HOLY FUCK, THIS PLANE IS OUT OF FUEL"

Um..!

OK, your Colin impression needs work.

That's basically what he said, I may have paraphrased it a bit.

I think you took more than a few liberties with my little brother's speech.

" Yeah, fuel is the one weakness of this plane, so use those carriers or whatever! Or just beat the map in six turns, that works too."



So now we just murder stuff for the rest of the map. Artillery? More like a-target-ery? I dunno, but it's dead either way.



Copters one-shotting rockets. SCOPs truly are wild.



I suppose we should, like, actually beat the map, too, so this stealth fighter takes out the first of the minicannons.



JUST like that! We'll take out another one in a second, and then do the other two on Max's turn.



Because hey, more stuff we can oneshot!



Right, right, back to beating the map. Next cannon down!



Excellent! I love a good explosion.



So, let's swap to Max and do a little more damage before we finish.

" MAXIMUM FORCEPS!"

What?



The bro copters can just barely get the kill on this minicannon together, which is super nice.



There we go.



Imagine a very satisfying explosion. It was, in fact, very satisfying.



We can battleship this black boat in the face...



And murder the enemy battleship! Wait, there were two enemy battleships. Hold on.



Yeah, there you are. Soften it up with rockets...



Then slam it superbly with a stealth's sneak strike.



We can also do a ton of damage, but not quite kill, this anti-air. And with that, we've exhausted everything that's within murder range.



And...



And that's how blowing up one of our ships could have helped us win more efficiently.

I... suppose there was some method to your madness. Still, I'm glad we didn't do that strategy.

And it looks like the little lady's got something she wants to show us. That half-smile there...she's got a plan for this battle.

I do. My dude, Rachel, please listen carefully.

" Thank you for coming up with a cool strategy, Rose! I'm sure Commander my dude's would have been cooler, but he was busy telling us about how much of a genius he is by blowing up his own ships."

Urgh...just tell us, Rose. How are we going to approach this?

(I'm away next week, unfortunately, so I will see you all on the 1st July! Get votes in if you wish, but otherwise, see you then!)

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Update 46 (Intermission) - Once Like You